Ask Yourself This Uncomfortable Question to Conquer Chronic Stress & Become Who You Really Are

What is the inner story you tell yourself about your life?

Does that story align with your outer actions in the world?

If your inner story does NOT match your outer actions, there is a “Story Gap”.

Paul Chek—the godfather of holistic health and a world-renowned expert in the fields of corrective and high-performance exercise kinesiology and stress management—passed on this teaching from Ken Wilber, author and philosopher on consciousness theories.

Another way to think of the Story Gap is the difference between who you say you are and who you really are.

It is very likely that—right now—you have a Story Gap. We all have them in varying degrees throughout life.

Chronic Stress, Conflict, & Anxiety Plague Your Mind

But proceed with caution….

The wider the Story Gap is, the more energy it drains from you. It costs your body more energy to manufacture a lie than it does to live your truth.

And the longer the Story Gap is sustained, the more it plagues your mind and leads to chronic stress, conflict, anxiety, and potentially even illness and disease.

Now, a Story Gap is not just about being a “man of your word” and picking your friend up at 6pm sharp, as you said you would.

Rather, a Story Gap is more about shedding the mask you are presenting to the world, and creating coherence between your inner and outer life experience.

So, how are Story Gaps created?

Far too often, we are chasing the dreams of others. We are afraid of our own thoughts and feelings. We distract ourselves. We don’t create the space to discover who we really are. And we lack the courage to be who we are.

Here are some common examples of Story Gaps:

• Inner-story: "My job is toxic, and I am deeply unfulfilled."

• Outer-world: Distracting yourself from intrinsic values and motivations by working overtime for the sake of extrinsic rewards (money and status), which perpetuates an unfulfilling cycle.

• Inner-story: "My body is exhausted. I really need to change my lifestyle and take care of myself."

• Outer-world: Hyper-caffeinating yourself to plow through your endless to-do list, and ignoring your body’s cries for rest, fresh air, and time in nature.

• Inner-story: "I am really disciplined and consistent. I am excited to create the life I want."

• Outer-world: Quitting on yourself when things get hard and lacking the will to consistently show up for yourself.

Close The Story Gap & Become Who You Really Are

So, how do know if you have a Story Gap?

First, it takes an extraordinary level of awareness, humility, courage, and honesty to truly listen to what your inner story is.

What do you truly want and need? Who are you?

Then, you have to cross-check your findings against your actions in the world.

Next, how do you close a Story Gap?

You have to BE and DO that which is in alignment and in integrity with your TRUE inner story. If you telling lies to yourself like this, "Actually, I love working overtime to the point of exhaustion! No more Story Gap!", then NO amount of being or doing would ever cure such a lie. Unless you truly loved that, it would only create more pain.

Instead, you must start with a fundamental respect and honor for the unique human that you are RIGHT NOW.

And realize that you inner story can and will change. And so too will the requirements to close the Gap.

But as long as the inner story is true first, you know who to become and what to do next.

Be advised, however, it takes energy to create—and sustain—a Story Gap. So, it makes sense that it will demand your energy to close it.

However, once you close the Story Gap, you experience "the privilege of a lifetime"—in Joseph Campbell's words—of being who you are.

Notice any Story Gaps in your life right now?

Take the time to humbly inquire within. Really let that question penetrate beyond your monkey mind.

Then, write down your Story Gaps to bring them to your awareness.

Finally, what actions must you take to restore coherence and alignment between your inner and outer world?

That is the treasure you seek.

Love, Connor

P.S. Thank you for your time and attention. It means the world to me.

Questions, comments, feedback, need help? It'd be a privilege to connect with you.

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