Timeless Lessons on Humility From a Smiling Jaguar

On October 4, 2022, Parker Vincent Sherry ascended from his body to his next assignment. He will be forever loved and missed.

Resources About Parker

Parker’s Social Media Accounts: View the Instagram posts that Parker has been tagged in recently to see how others are honoring him, as well as his Facebook you didn’t personally know Parker, but are touched by hearing about his passing, read through his posts on Instagram. This will give you a taste of who he was — and surely a taste of Parker's wisdom.

Remembering Parker: Link to video on Google Drive — created by Max McCoy

My Conversation with Parker on Humility: This was an unreleased podcast that I recorded with Parker back in August 2020. So, I figured now is the time to release it. Watch the interview here via the raw audio and video files and🚨 make sure you READ TO THE BOTTOM for the notes, quotes, and timestamps for the interview! (*If you feel inspired, I am sure Parker would give you his blessing to download these for personal use and to create other media in honor of his passing.) For those who prefer listening via Spotify, here is the Spotify episode with a brief personal intro, as well as opening and closing music that I've been soothing myself to on repeat this past week in honor of Parker.

How I Met Parker

In December 2018, I sent an email to Spirit Quest Sanctuary to gather information about an ayahuasca retreat. The human who responded on the other side of that email address was Parker Sherry. For those who know Parker, it will come as no surprise to hear that I felt a radiance of love and purity emanating from his email. I immediately knew I was in good hands. You always knew you were in good hands with Parker. Eventually, my brother and I booked a retreat to sit with Parker and Co. in Peru in July 2019.

At that time, Parker had begun facilitating ayahuasca experiences on behalf of the legendary shaman Don Howard, who had become too ill to continue leading the retreats. Parker was trusted—and very capable—to step in for Don Howard, which speaks immensely to the quality of Parker‘s being, as well as his ability to hold space and guide people through such a tender and transformative experience.

I really grew to love and admire Parker during the retreat. My soul was endlessly nourished by consuming the quotes of yogis, mystics, shamans, and philosophers that poured out of Parker‘s mouth at a moment’s notice. One quote Parker told me from the Greek philosopher Heraclitus really stuck with me:

In retrospect, this quote was devastatingly poetic, as it was in a river where Parker’s life was forever changed.

I was fortunate to call Parker a friend and stay in touch with him after our retreat. Nearly a year later, Parker was kind enough to join me for an interview for a book that I was writing. I was penning a chapter about humility. If not Parker, there is nobody to interview about humility. In my hazel eyes, Parker was the embodiment of humility.

I once asked Parker about what to do with my life. He took in my question, looked at the dusty floor of the maloca, and let out a humble laugh — a laugh of reverence, not of disrespect. Then, his big vibrant eyes slowly panned upwards to meet mine. Without exchanging a word, Parker’s gaze let me know that this was my journey to figure out. After I intuited the message, Parker left me with a timeless gem, “The only way to know your path is to walk it.”

A humble man doesn’t need to brag. Others will do the bragging for him. So, it is my honor and joy to brag on behalf of Parker. The Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius once demanded of himself in his private journal:

Clearly, Parker received that download from Marcus — being a good man was a lesson that Parker had mastered.

Not only was Parker my facilitator for my retreat, but a mentor for my life beyond that experience. He had a special memory to recall wisdom on the spot and deliver it in the most eloquent way. He was an incredible writer AND a tremendous orator — a very rare combination. One can only aspire to have those two arrows in your quiver, as Parker did.

The etymology of the word humility carries the meaning of “on the ground” and of “earth”. My experiences in Peru with Parker opened up my eyes to what it means to be a person of Earth, and to walk with my feet on the ground and my heart open. To care for Mother Earth and to love one another.

It also taught me the importance of the “littleness of mind”, another root meaning of the word humility. However, our business is not to belittle the mind, but rather to let the heart be bigger than our conscious mind, to let our hearts inform our conscious minds. And when we do that, the welcome side effect is being a humble man of the earth.

Parker was a loving grandfather who died way before grandfatherhood. A man wise beyond his years. Parker is like the opposite of an addicting substance: one dose of Parker is surely enough, but 1000 doses would never be too many.

The news of his transition hit me incredibly hard. Parker has occupied my mental real estate nearly 24/7 — I’ve slept very little and I’ve wept a lot, more deeply than I can ever remember. But through my grieving, I was healing. Stagnant energy was being purged from my body. The gift of Parker was not done giving. And thus I witnessed another demonstration of a true master: Parker blessed me and purified me while he walked the earth and he purified me again on his way out.

Parker also demonstrated true mastery while he was alive. One of my favorite experiences with Parker was in Peru. We were sitting atop a sacred stone circle on the top of a hill in the jungle.

It was night. The mosquitoes were hungry. Parker sat with a straight spine and a hungry open heart, consuming the beautiful expanse before us. Meanwhile, I laid on my yoga mat, wearing a mosquito net around my head, looking like an utter loser. Unsurprisingly, Parker was not distressed by mosquitoes like I was. Anyway, I will never forget that magical night. As we pondered the depths of life, I witnessed my first moonrise. Over the horizon of the Amazon Jungle, our gaze followed the ascension of the most gigantic Full Moon. In the sacred silence of this beautiful moment, Parker revealed his true colors: he was a Cosmic DJ, commissioned by the Lunar Council to bless this moment like only Parker could.

So, what did he do exactly? He fired up his portable Bluetooth speakers and sneakily played a song from his pre-downloaded Spotify playlist: the soundtrack to Planet Earth TV series. Seriously, Parker? You fucking ninja. Leave it up to Parker Sherry to set the mood for a Full Moon rising over the Amazonian jungle. Game. Set. Match. What an unexpected, yet impressive move, Parker Sherry. Clearly, he was a man worthy of DJ’ing on behalf of the universe.

It’s deeply saddening that we won’t get to sit around crackling campfires with 87-year-old Parker and absorb the battle-tested medicine of his words, of his plants, and of his being. But, I know he will be there in spirit. And he will live on and live through each of our open hearts. I invite you to read the show notes below to feel who Parker was. He left some incredible pearls of wisdom and it would be his honor if they could serve you in any way.

Parker, I’m taking every advantage of this portal of your ascension to reconnect with you, my memories of you, and my timeless lessons from you. I’ll miss you brother, but I know deep inside that I will see you again. Thank you for being in my life. Thank you for being a spiritguide to me in the flesh. It would be the honor of my lifetime to have you continue being my spiritguide from the other dimensions.

And thank you for saving my brother’s life. We loved you more than we ever realized.

Para el bien de todos, hermano.

Love, Connor Rankin

Interview Notes: Parker Sherry on Humility

(These time stamps coincide with the raw video and audio files, not the episode on Spotify [click here for the Spotify episode], the latter of which includes a brief intro + opening and closing music. If you want to match the timestamps with the audio, listen to the raw audio/video files.)

⏱️ 0:00 — Intro

“Humility is the essence of love and intelligence; it is not an achievement” - Jiddu Krishnamurti

Parker references: “The only thing I know is of my own ignorance.” — Socrates

⏱️ 3:00

• The pie chart of what you know, what you know you don’t know, and what you don’t know that you know.

• Parker describes what he does not know that he does not know as an “infinite ocean.”

• “But rather than being crippled by that or having that weigh me down in a real material sense, I find that—to the contrary—to be pretty liberating.” - Parker Sherry

⏱️ 4:30

• SpiritQuest is the “School of Hard Knocks”

⏱️ 4:56

• Parker describes humans as always chasing novelty. The video is choppy here, but I believe he is saying how we all know obvious wisdom such as “Love is the answer”, yet “we overlook them”.

⏱️ 6:28

• One lesson Parker must re-learn: to not forget to play. He talks about playing hide and seek with his nephew.

• “Life is meant to be enjoyed. It is not necessarily the accomplishments, it is our sense of enjoyment and connection with fellow human beings.” - Parker Sherry

• “A lot of us take ourselves very seriously. And I am guilty as charged there…” - Parker references: “We are all maestros, and we are all apprentices. We all have something to learn from one another, and we all have something to teach one another.” - Don Howard

⏱️ 7:48

• Eulogy virtues versus resume virtues. For more context, here is an article by The Marginalian

⏱️ 8:15

• How did Parker end up at SpiritQuest and how did Parker find his spirit guides in life?

• “I’ve been very blessed…First and foremost, my parents. They are two of the most heroic people I know.” - Parker Sherry

• Parker shares about how his family (mother, father, grandfather) impacted him so much, and how he is grateful for their love and sacrifices.

• “Don Howard was a spiritual mentor for me…He reminded me so much of my grandfather — it’s almost eerie for me to think about.” - Parker Sherry

⏱️ 11:06

• Don Howard’s lesson about humility“You can live your life both humble and proud.” — Don Howard

• Parker said at first this sounded like a contradiction. But he later came into a greater understanding of it.

• “We barely know what we are, much less this gigantic world and cosmos that we are a part of.” - Parker Sherry

• “It is very possible—and I would dare say even aspirational—to go through life being humble and proud in the sense that you have self-love, self-compassion, and empathy for fellow human beings who maybe didn’t have that mentor that they could really look up to…” — Parker Sherry

• “Humble and proud. That is how Don Howard lived life.” - Parker Sherry

• Parker says that service was the meaning of life for Don Howard

• “It boiled down to one word.” - Parker Sherry, referencing “service”.

⏱️ 13:20

• The meaning of “Para el bien de todos”. Translates to “For the good of all”. This was what Don Howard’s work was all about.

• Parkers references Don Howard, who said, “Unfortunately, Parker, ‘Para el bien de todos' is a minority view.”

• “If you do really strive to meet that bar [para el bien de todos] day in and day out, you’ll find that it comes back to you. Sometimes that might require that you offer something first or that you live life with an open heart. And sometimes you can get stung or you can find people that don’t reciprocate, but there are a lot of people out there who do. And when you find those kinds of people, that’s special.” - Parker Sherry

⏱️ 15:19

• Are we here to learn? What is the purpose of learning?

• Parker references Paul Selig, who teaches that we are all on our own unique path of learning.

• “The School of Hard Knock sometimes comes calling and there are times where it can have the weight of a feather, or the weight of a hammer or a Louisville Slugger. And speaking for myself, with some of the lessons, I think I elected the Louisville Slugger.” - Parker Sherry

• Parker views the path of learning as a path of re-learning too,“We intuitively know a lot of these obvious truths. But life can be chaotic and busy and noisy, especially these last five months. And sometimes it's about just removing some of that stuff, some of that baggage, so that we can really see who we are. And for me, I think humans are really interconnected. And I have to say, at a place like SpiritQuest Sanctuary, you experience that on a level where you feel that somatically. And whether it's working with Ayahuasca or Huachuma, you sense how interconnected you are on just a pure energy level with fellow human beings and nature, and you realize that you have a special song to sing. And the world needs that song, the world needs that light, the world needs that love… I, like everyone, am on my own path of learning. And on that path, there are a lot of stumbles and falls and obstacles. And sometimes in life, it's just getting off the mat one extra time and dusting yourself off. Just striving valiantly to be the best version of ourselves… as Don Howard said, 'The journey is the destination.' So that's a lifelong path for people with a growth mindset.” - Parker Sherry

⏱️ 18:27

• Do we create the reality we need in order to discover ourselves?

• “People create the reality they need in order to discover themselves.” - Ernest Becker

• “The next message you need is right where you are.” - Ram Dass

• Parker references Hafiz, a Sufi Poet, “This place where you are right now, God circled it on a map for you.” - Hafiz

• “Don't delude yourself in terms of where you are at this moment…recognize that you can raise the bar a little bit today and a little bit tomorrow. And it's really character, which in Greek means to “refine”. It's a process of continuing to whittle away. And there's never a finish line. It's something that constantly requires effort and refinement, and speaking your truth.” - Parker Sherry

⏱️ 20:55

• Don Howard’s teachings on the distinction between character and reputation management.“I think it's a very critical distinction… I think the vast majority of people are doing the best that they can... But, what others say about you, Don Howard didn't worry about that because ultimately, that's outside of his control. But when it comes to character, well, that is fully within my agency. So I chew on that a lot. And it's great when people love you. And I’d prefer that people not loathe me or think I’m just utterly detestable. But also—a great book Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, who talks about one of his four agreements is—don't take anything personally… That's a tough lesson. But the more I endeavor to keep learning that one, the more beneficial it is.” - Parker Sherry

⏱️ 20:55

• Why do people have a hard time learning, especially from plant medicines? Is it pride that prevents people from handing over the keys of their conscious mind? Is it our survival nature? What stops people from believing in greater guidance?

• “A little bit of humble pie is not always a bad thing.” - Parker Sherry

• Parker shares how most of spend time in our heads and not in our hearts.

• “The mind is an excellent servant, but a terrible master. For many of us, it's just how we operate. We think through everything. And the mind can be a great tool. But when it comes to certain realms of plant medicine, you go so far beyond what your mind could possibly create… I've had realizations where—if that is my mind making these connecting these dots—it's so far advanced that it would be truly mind-blowing… So I think for a lot of people, it's just a process where they're learning more to move from their minds to their hearts. - Parker Sherry

• Parker references Don Howard, “My mind is my office and my heart is my home… I only go to the office when I absolutely have to.” - Don Howard

• Parker says that making your heart into your home is “a practice. And I would contend it's a practice worth practicing.”

• Compared to our monkey minds which are “constantly jockeying for control of the starship", Parker says that the heart is a “very capable commander” a la Captain James T. Kirk, which we can access “if we can silence some of the monkey chatter and get more into our hearts.”

⏱️ 28:52

• I talk about Don Miguel Ruiz who relates to the mind as a “predator”, always on the hunt for something. I share how I received lessons about being in the heart, and not the mind, in the morning after our ayahuasca ceremonies.

• “Well look, many times that’s our work. The lessons aren't just in the ceremonies… For the astute students, the lessons present themselves after breakfast. It doesn’t have to be in some sort of ceremony.” - Parker Sherry

• “Life is the ultimate ceremony.” - Don Howard

• “Those light bulb moments can come on at any point if we are observant enough to let them really sink in.” - Parker Sherry

⏱️ 29:54

• Parker talks about the big lessons that have stuck with him.

• Parker talks about his background and his journey from “the office” to his heart and a big download he had during an ayahuasca ceremony.“The currency of the cosmos is love…Every fiber of your being knows that’s the right answer. But the harder thing is doing that in practice.” - Parker Sherry

• “Practice that radical unconditional love even when your ego thinks it’s been damaged…That’s the practice.” - Parker Sherry

⏱️ 32:22

• Parker’s thoughts on the different roles we play through each other throughout life and our interconnectedness.

• The distinction between a good coach and a bad coach. “We can be that good coach. We can be that good mentor.” - Parker Sherry

• “I’d like to think that with all of us, with how interconnected we should strive to be, we can play those different roles, depending on what those people need to learn in our relation to them.” - Parker Sherry

⏱️ 37:40

• How to get back to the humble space when you feel you’ve been hurt

• “You can’t spiritually bypass the human.” - Aubrey Marcus.

• Parker says “The human is along for the ride.”

• The distinction of life happening for us versus to us: “It’s far more empowering to feel that things are happening for you, not to you… There are no curses or downsides. There’s always a silver lining you can take from it.” - Parker Sherry

⏱️ 41:15

• How Parker knew Don Howard was a teacher for him

• Don Howard always strived to be impeccable and Parker really admired this.

• He resonated with his 40+ years of service “It’s important to recognize who those [admirable] figures are on in your life and double down on that. Triple down on that… On the spiritual side, [Don Howard] was my #1 pick.” - Parker Sherry

• “We are all planets. And we get to set our own gravity. And that gravity has a gravitational pull.” - Parker Sherry

⏱️ 44:28

• Why adopt a “Para el bien de todos” paradigm?

• “The amount of really impressive people that came into my life could not have been coincidental.” - Parker Sherry

• “If you really were selfish, you would elect that [Para el bien de todos] paradigm, because it comes back to you 10-fold, 100-fold, one million fold. You just gotta be willing to offer something significant first and foremost, and it will come back to you. It’s important not to count the beans. I found that to be undeniably true. If you really live that way, it becomes undeniable.” - Parker Sherry

⏱️ 45:35

• What mountain is Parker climbing?

• Parker references The Second Mountain. The First Mountain is individual success and career achievements, and the importance thereof. But he is focused on The Second Mountain.“I think that the Second Mountain is the mountain worth climbing.” - Parker Sherry

• Parker references David Brooks, "We don't have enough people on that Second Mountain, that path of service."

• "For me, I think it's that Second Mountain, that path of service, that is really us achieving our highest bliss. Look, I want to be the best version of myself, but I've had the realization that if I am being that best version of myself, I'm helping other people become the best version of themselves as well. So, I do my best to walk up that Mountain. And although there are stumbles and avalanches and setbacks and disappointments, I still think that Second Mountain is the Mountain that is really worth climbing." - Parker Sherry

⏱️ 51:00

• I open up the floor for Parker to share what is on his heart. Remember, this was 4 months into the pandemic lockdown in August 2020, so his answer was clearly influenced by the then-current state of the world.

• Parker references Paul Chek, “If you do what you love, you’ll be making love all day.”

• “We all have some shit. And we all have some shit to dump.” - Don Howard

• “That would be my advice…it’s always the right time to make the right decisions, to sing your song, whatever that may be. The world needs your light. The world needs your love. Life is short. The days are long, but the years fly by.” - Parker Sherry

• “Human beings certainly have plenty of faults, but we’re incredibly adaptable. I think if more people live within their means and do what they really love — we all have passions and interests. We all have things that spark the spark in us. That would be my advice…to do something that you love. It won’t feel like work. The right kind of people will gravitate into your orbit and you’ll orbit into theirs. And it will be interesting.” - Parker Sherry

• “We all make mistakes. But really, the only things I’ve regretted are when I haven’t done something that really seemed interesting or spoke to me on a deep level. So, that’s what I would encourage people to do. You know what really excites you, and what lights the flames of passion and excitement in your life. So, follow that. The mind might tell you—the mind will tell you—a million things: ‘Oh you are not good enough. This is gonna fail.’ But on a path of learning, there are no such things as failures. Just more lessons. Then, you integrate those lessons. You needed those past failures to get to this point now.” - Parker Sherry

⏱️58:45

• Unsurprisingly, Parker flips the tables on the interview — a true demonstration of humility. And he humbly asks me for a teaching that I could deliver to him or others.

• I share my views about how our learnings are never lost and how I believe the wisdom we learn from our experiences can transcend our destruction, as well as the destruction of the universe.

• We circle back to the journey from the head to the heart.

⏱️1:01:10

• Parker shares his dismay of the evolution of the Star Wars movie franchise and how they revealed that you could measure Skywalker’s “force”.

• “That wasn’t enlightening [when they revealed that you could measure “the force”]. That was kind of lame. I liked the amorphous concept of the force. You either had it or you didn’t. And you could use it for power or for the good of all. Sometimes it is not about trying to solve everything. That is not as interesting as having that sense of awe and wonder that a child can have.” - Parker Sherry

⏱️ 1:03:15

• "If someone is able to show me that what I think or do is not right, I will happily change, for I seek the truth, by which no one was ever truly harmed. It is the person who continues in his self-deception and ignorance who is harmed.” - Marcus Aurelius

• What lies under humility? Awareness. Presence. Humility. Respect. Reverence. Perspectives. Appreciation. Wonder. The ability to receive.

• Parker on humility, “It’s a practice. And a practice worth practicing. The more we can do that with a smile and an open heart, the further we’ll get.”

⏱️ 1:05:50

• “Thus, the Master is available to all people and doesn’t reject anyone. He is ready to use all situations and doesn’t waste anything. This is called embodying the light. What is a good man, but a bad man’s teacher? What is a bad man, but a good man’s job? If you don’t understand this, you will get lost, however intelligent you are. It is the great secret.” - Lao Tzu

• "Well, I definitely cannot top that!" - Parker Sherry, responding humbly to Lao Tzu's quote

We love you, hermano.